Over-powered Positivity

After a minor break-down this morning, I have decided to put this all into a much better perspective. I am determined I want more and better things. I AM going to be okay. I AM going to continue with my life without hesitation. Memory exercises, check-lists, alarms and timers, whatever it takes. Hell, yesterday I found that I have to revert back to infancy to calm myself down! And you know what? I'm DAMN WELL GONNA DO IT!! Something about rubbing my fingers against fabrics makes me feel better. Toted around a blankie for a bit like a toddler until Paul gave me a hanky. Yesterday it felt infantile and stupid. Today I have a new mindset. It helps. I don't care. It's soothing and I will do what it takes to help control seizure activity. Today: Mindful Meditation and wagging around a hanky. Sounds completely ridiculous to anyone reading this....even me. But I am NOT going six to eight months with on-going everyday seizure activity.....I will meditate myself clear to hell if need be. Kids: got this. Money: Got this. Medical issues: Got this. I'm good! And how could anything POSSIBLY bring me down now?? I have the world in my hands waiting for me to take it and nothing could be better. I love my life and everyone in it. I AM stronger because of this. I WILL be self-sufficient. I will prove to everyone and myself that this is possible. That I can be a single mother and a reliable friend. And besides that; if my memory remains the way it is now I can always look on the bright side: every hour is a new adventure!! :)