My Own Artistic Expression

"Finding new outlets" has been my new goal. Thanks to Paul and Ally I have now been allowed to rekindle an old passion for photography. Taking photographs in and of itself provides not only an artistic outlet, but a therapeutic level of stress release. Photo editing; playing with contrast, lighting, effects, grain, etc...forces my mind to work on a more intelligible level that I currently believe it lacks. Writing and photography are currently going to be my two main focuses for a sort of "escape" out of seizure activity. Due to the fact that they are neurological, this may not work 100% of the time, but if using these expressive means to prevent even one a week, or calm seizure type activity once in a while will help slow the deteriorating process. The last few days have been more of a "playtime" activity...learning to use the bulky camera began as a sort of chore but is quickly becoming an adventure. I can't remember the last time I opened my eyes to the world around me like this. It's a feeling I really only get with a camera or a pen and paper in my hand. If I am photographing, or writing a descriptive piece, I tend to notice the most beautiful and odd details at the same time. My grandma's house was always a place of curiosity for me with my cameras. The oldest most antiqued looked objects sit there. Rust and vegetation coated vehicles, chains, tractors, fences...I don't know why but things like that capture my interest more then anything. It's extremely stereotypical, but it's the "beauty and the beast" type visual. Rusted old tractor tires, worn and dirt covered with the greenest blades of grass growing up around it. Or cobwebbed, oiled chains hanging against a newly painted white fence. Old car parts, tools,...and that's only in the back! I am tempted someday to venture into the garage when grandpa's not there and take some of his hot rods for him!! It's even more of an amazing thing to share. Today I had the pleasure of spending some time in the back with my beautiful daughter. I explained to her about contrasting shapes, textures,....solid backgrounds with busy foregrounds, dark and plain colored objects surrounded with bright vibrancy. My baby catches on quickly to few things, I admit, but quickly it became, "Hey mommy! How about this?!" and "Look at your old bike with the weeds!!" I could've spent hours out there with her, had it just been us. I have been photographing since I got my very first camera at seven. I began telling stories through pictures at age ten. Whether it be what truly happened in them, or making up my own as I go. (Sometimes fiction is simply more interesting; we all know this!) For the most part I stuck to disposable cameras and later on, cheap digital. Which, as I'm sure you can all understand, is why I'm so excited now. This is the first time I could every truly start expressing myself this way. I find the prospect of being able to start a chronological photographic memoir (so to speak) of my life. Along with blogs, digital journal entries, fact and fictional stories, songs and poetry to go along with it. So when the the comes, and I pass.....the last thing my children my could ever say is "What was my mother's life like?"